Friday, August 20, 2010

Is being married really any different from dating?

I have heard more and more about people who date for 2, 5, 10, 15 years then get married, and in a matter for 1 or 2 years they are divorced. How do you date, share you life, live with a person for 10 years, then in 2 years of signing legal documents have to break up?! Is being married really that different from dating?Is being married really any different from dating?
Maybe these people don't know what there significant other lives like and they find it difficult to live with one another. I find that a lot of the people I know complain about living situations before they part. For instance a husband complaining about his wife not cooking or a wife complaining about the husband not helping with the house work. People need to know how there loved one views the opposing sex's roll in the house. Not a lot of women these days want to be a house wife and have a full time job and who can blame them but I have notice that, that is kinda whats expected in a guys head. In the 50's threw the 70's it was still hard but the man brought the check home so the woman's roll as a house wife was expected and done. Sure they had a few women that worked but not very many. Now a days a family can not afford one parent to work unless the husband is making mad money. It is something you would think people would talk about but I think to many people just assume things are going to be some sort of magical dream of a life after they find that special someone. It is not the case and it sucks. No one communicates worth a damn so relationships go to crap almost more than they work out.Is being married really any different from dating?
People who cohabit in an intimate relationship are technically not ';dating'; per se. However, I catch the gist of your question. There might be a few reasons that ';things change'; after a couple gets legally married. Some people have definite stereotypes about what it means to be married, and they change in their attitude when they marry. This can cause behavior changes that make the partner crazy. Other people think that their lives become restricted when they get married, so they freak out and feel smothered by the responsibility of being married. Along those lines, some people don't like the thought that they can no longer date other people when they get married..... they want the comfort and stability but not the restrictions. Some people want to get married at all costs and will hang in there for years with ';the one,'; even though there are obvious problems in the relationship. When they get married, the problems are still there, but the one partner expected those problems to magically disappear after the wedding. They don't.





I'm sure other people will come up with other reasons, but these are the ones I hear about.
I think some people freak out when it comes to marriage. Either they have unrealistic and unfair expectations about the idea of marriage, or they feel tied down and restricted in a way that they didn't prior to getting married. Some people feel more comfortable with the marriage certificate freshly inked, so they feel they can ';let it all hang out'; when prior to getting married, they'd been on their best behavior. I know a lot of women who went from being great girlfriends to insanely naggy, needy, complaining wives because they felt they could do so since they were married. I know a lot of men who became lazy about cleanliness (some stopped showering regularly) and figured since they were married, it was okay to spend all of their free time gaming.





Just depends on the individuals in the relationship.
only from my experience can I say this about it.





when someone gets married the seem to try less. they also do less or sometimes give up. men and women. I am not talking about slowing down that is natural. I mean stopping all together. women start saying something like ';I never liked doing that. now that we are married I won't do that anymore.'; men say things like, ';why would I want to treat you like I did when we were dating. I already have you as a wife.'; these are just some things. there are far more you can probably think of right now.





women and men stop going to the gym or trying to look their best for their spouse. men stop grooming properly or like they did when they were dating. start preferring video games to interaction With their spouse. knowing when the game is done she will still be there. women stop wearing flattering dresses or lingerie for their men, preferring to always wear the comfortable ones. maybe less aggressive in love making or initiating love making, we like to be seduced as well at times. it is a two way street.





I guess what I am saying is most couples try less and less. until finally, usually to quickly they are putting no effort in at all for their marriage.
you should just date until you want to have kids or can see yourself working towards buying a home with a speacial someone -then have kids. another good reason to get married is good health care, of course this ties in to the whole having kids thing. being married is the end and the beginning of forever, it is very different from dating.
marriage is very different from dating or living together. It is like being tied to a bed and being tickled,when you get out of that drama you feel such relief.
YES! Very different.
Seems to be.
YES

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