How do I get my wife to stop spending money?

I've been married to my wife for 4 years and we have a 2-year-old daughter. My wife always liked 'nicer' things, but after our daughter was born she came obsessed. She only buys our daughter's clothes from GAP baby, The children's place, Gymboree, etc. Obviously it's very expensive.. I was with her last week and she bought our daughter a swim suit that cost close to $70. I tried explaining to her that by the time it's summer our daughter won't be able fit in it, but she just walked away and I didn't go after her because I didn't want to start an argument. Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart to get some diapers and I seen a really nice outfit that I knew my daughter would like and it was cheap, so I bought for her. Well when my wife seen it she liked it, but when I told her it came from Wal-Mart she was disgusted with me. My wife goes shopping almost every other day. She usually spends around 3,500 - 4,000 a month. That seems absolutely absurd to me, but then again I've never been the one to really care about what I'm wearing.. as long as it fits and it's not ripped, stained, etc. then it's fine. But I'm also not a women either, so I guess it's probably extremely tempting for a women to buy things (at least that's what I heard). I'm getting extremely frustrated with all the bills. She pays for some of it with her own money, but I'm usually stuck with the rest. My parents have been in debt for years because my mom was a shopaholic and I don't want to end up like them. I've tried talking to my wife about this, but she just gets pissed and doesn't talk to me for days. Today I lost it and told her to come into my daughters room, where I showed her all the clothes (with price tags still on them) piled everywhere. And I asked her if she really thinks our daughter needs more stuff and she said ';You can never have too much stuff'; and now she won't talk to me. How do I convince her to at least take a break from shopping, so we can catch up on the bills?How do I get my wife to stop spending money?
She seems to be a shopaholic. I seriously think there is a group for that. My question would be, can the household afford it? I don't shop at Walmart either, so I understand her point of view. And while I don't think expenses of 4K a month are high, I know it will stretch some budgets. You may need to make an appointment with a financial counselor and get a plan in place for the money management in your household.How do I get my wife to stop spending money?
try a family budget spreadsheet with income and all expenses not just hers be extremely honest even with your own stuff and show how you are falling behind. hopefully common sense will prevail, if not she may need counseling
easy.. separate bank accounts..
HAHAHAHAHA ROTF





if you figure this out you need to write a book about it
Holy **** dude, 4K a month? Tell her to stop or it's divorce.
donate your money to me
Stop giving her money to spend! my god that woman has some weird issues!
tell her to get a job.every woman loves to shop but a normal woman would chose her husband over frivilous material things.maybe she has low self esteem and buying things make her feel good about herself.she needs some counciling maybe or something??? i would chose the love of a good man over some gap **** anyday
This may sound drastic measures, but it beats nailing her foot to the floor. Hire an accountant. Brag on the fact that you have gotten to the point where you need one. Then explain to the person your financial goals. To pay off house in 10 years instead of 15. Pay off all credit work


only with cash budget. Increase savings and investments etc. The planner a good one can do all thuis and show you how soon you can party rest of life.





Get wife onboard tell her new bigger house for cash and cash cars new ones.


Now need to explain a few things and do some guessing. Do you own a house outright. What about 2 or 3? Home home, winter home, summmer place? If she is spending 4500 per month on clothes or over 50,000 dollars each year well she could have those things and not be in debt again. Sounds to me that you rent and owe everybody. Am I right? What do you have to show at end of year? Old used clothes. You can sell them on Ebay or thrift stores. Will you have more kids? Hand me downs and good ones. Buy quality it does last long. But not for baby clothes. Less than 10-12 and that kid don't know and don't care. It will care if you can't buy it graduation car or pay. For college.


If you notice even the richest people don't live like flashy pigs. Those that do their friends make fun of them behind their backs for being stupid. The clerks that sell those kids clothes are nice to her face but think she's stupid. And they get 20/30% discount but don't buy till on sale.


The worst ploy to fall for is a shop girls or shop owners game. Good ones see you coming. They will tell you what good taste you have and how good your baby looks in that junk and how much yoouust love it to buy the crud. Next they may play the snooty game. Ask if it will go on sale soon? They hate that. Cuts their commission or profits. Means you might compare shop find same item


cheaper and not come back. Or get real snooty and say well due to the price some just can't afford this style. To a shopaholic those are fighting words.


If your wife buys Ralph Lauren or other names you need to sit her down and let her know and see that a custom tailor can make the same or similar many times for less. Much less. And what is more classy than to have your clothes made compared to ';Off The Rack Junk Any Pesant Can Buy?';. SHs like bragging rights. They like Logos. But what sounds much higher class? I buy my kids clothes at Jaque Pennays or well little Greeda has her clothes tailor made for her. We just don't like being one of the crowd. Obviously you must find a good one and one for 10-12-15 year olds. Past that they just don't care.


So if for example I know a nice very good cotton button down collar shirt made by Polo use to cost me 98.00 dollars ea for LS. I can have a tailor made shirt same design same material


but better stiching, much better fit since Polos sizes are never the same twice, one that fits perfect for half price. I use to buy 20 LS Shirts in White 20 in light Blue and 20 plaids and colors every 4-5 years. By then they were worn. Not out but worn looking. I had them dry cleaned and med starched. Always looked nice. But 6000 dollars is cheap because of use. But 3000


is cheaper and remember these always fit just right. I was always being asked where wife shopped for shirts pants suits. I explained tailor and how much better and cheaper. And some times I would splurge and buy very expensive material shirts 5 only at 210 ea. Hey they looked great.


Lastly, if she shops shop wisely and telll her if she needs this to make her happy she needs help. Because sooner or later the things she own may end up owning her
I am a woman and am extremely frugal. I HATE to shop. I spend less than $4,000 every month on our entire household budget including every bill we have (and our mortgage with taxes and insurance is $2000). We have teenagers who are into activities and eat a ton and keep growing (but there is a clothing budget for each of them - there will be no $200 jeans on my dime...).





Some people are big spenders. My husband is the big spender in our family and just this year, after 22 years of marriage and many discussions, he is seeing things my way. FINANCIAL FREEDOM is WAY more appealing than material possessions. We are going to move this summer due to his work and our lifestyle will be downsized - FINALLY. I prefer to keep things simple. I do not need nor want a big expensive house, new car, etc.





You can try to put her on a budget, but good luck getting her to stay with it. Just keep talking to her. I did not fight with my husband about the finances - I just kept mentioning my ideas and letting him know when the money was getting tight (from his spending). I have paid the bills for almost our entire marriage. He took over one time and many things got shut off - LOL.





I feel your pain and hope it doesn't take you 22 years. Just try to get her to see without it hurting your relationship. Good Luck!~
Your wife has a mental illness that causes her to compulsively shop and hoard things that she has no actual use for. She will bankrupt you if you let it continue. Watch the A%26amp;E show, Hoarders, for some insight on mental and emotional trauma that triggers this. Your wife needs counseling. You may have to threaten to leave her and maybe take the baby with you in order for her to understand how serious the situation is.





Not all woman are like this. Some women understand the value of a hard earned dollar and are thrilled to find a bargain when they shop. Your wife has some insecurity issues that make her feel more valuable the more money she spends. She needs to understand that her worth has nothing to do with the material things she hoards or the money she spends.
You need to sit down with her and show her what is coming into the home in terms of money, what has to be put into savings and what she is doing to damage your lives.


You should have 3 savings:


401K for retirement


Savings with at least one year of money to cover all bills


savings for a family vacation


You should have a checking account that covers your bills





NO CREDIT CARDS till you are not in debt


Use a DEBIT Card only and have only one
Well, you've got her on the defense now. You can't make her stop, you have to convince her to save for something better. Now you have to wait a while before approaching her again.


You need to sit down with her and say: we need to start saving for your daugther's education, to buy a house, to go on vacation, etc. Whatever will make her save towards a goal. This way you're not addressing her spending, it's a family goal to do x.
Talk to her and let her know that she does not need to continue to spend


money like that. Tell he instead of going on a shopping spree donate to Haiti





Take her credit card from her or give her a spending limit. That way she will not


be able to spend more than she would.
Your wife must not work. She's probably spending so much because a) to her it feels like she's doing something constructive, and b) you've ';taken care'; of her and ';spoiled'; her for so long that now she feels entitled.





You can't just tell her to not shop. Your daughter needs things. Your wife probably spends more time with her, so she's more aware than you are. HOWEVER, $4000 a month on clothes and toys for a 2 year old is absurd. Kids need a lot, but they don't need THAT much.





What you and your wife need to do is look at your finances, and agree TOGETHER on a weekly/monthly budget. You should allocate set amounts for kid-related expenses, as well as personal items for both her and yourself (and the amount you set aside for personal ';allowances'; should be equal, even though you earn more). This will give both of you ';permission'; to spend without having to account to the other, but it sets a limit so that once it's spent, you have to wait for the next week or paycheck.





My husband and I have budgeted like this for many years. We now live on less than 50% of our income, yet still live a comfortable lifestyle and feel disciplined without being deprived. It's a partnership agreement that really works, and prevents arguments over money completely.
She is high maintenance with a capital M. Take her credit cards away and the checkbook and put her on a weekly budget so you can monitor how much money goes out the window. If you cut her life line off she has to change.





Tell her next step is counseling but why spend more money on that when all she has to do is curb her behavior. Start this week on this and be consistent and don't back off.
She obviously doesn't respect you or what you have to say, so bring her to a financial adviser. Also, there's a show on ';A%26amp;E'; called ';Big Spender'; where there are shop aholics that get comfronted and then get their sh!t together.





You need to have a fight with your wife on this, and valiantly. Your CHILD is going to be the one who suffers in later years when she can't have the designer clothes that actually fit and wear for a long time that other people are actually going to see and judge her for.





You need to step up and if you get in arguments with her every single second of the day, it is absolutely worth it. Let me tell you something about women: They are nuts. Equal rights is a joke outside of the workplace. They are not logical, or accountable, and your wife is a perfect example. So you have to ask yourself: Are you going to let your wife bankrupt you? Is it possible your attracted to the same type of materalistic wife a feminist nation produces? If so, you need to think about what your going to do about it. Your wife needs to be put in her place and you need to micromanage the bills. Your wife CANNOT be allowed to spend any of YOUR money.





I honestly think you are a loser in the first place for letting a woman spend so much of your money on **** you don't agree with. Stop being a loser.
it took years for me to get her to understand, but finally what it took to finally get her to understand was to make her take over all the bills.





We have always had a zero balance every month on credit cards, and I told her she had to keep that going, monitor the checking account (where our paychecks were deposited) and make sure we had enough for the mortgage, utilities, visa, set aside $800 a month for the real estate taxes (auto moved to a savings account) , ... everything.





I taught her Excel and how to keep track, how to predict when the paychecks came in so she knew how much money she had for the rest of the month, ...





It took two years, but she finally understood. She even has the 3 weekend gaps marked now.
You married your mother. Psychologists say that men marry a woman that has as the same personality as their mother and a woman marries a man like her father. That's why, for instance, children that were raised in an abusive environment, will also abuse their children. You really need to speak with a psychologist about her.
make a budget. groceries, clothes, entertainment, going out to eat, cleaning stuff for the house, car needs, gas, you keep the money, dont make it accessable for her. give her the weekly spending money and when its gone tell her too bad. suggest to her she get wise with it and make it last. put her in my shoes. i dont think i even spend 100 a month on just me stuff. she needs boot camp for over spenders. my husband and i were just talking about ppl like that. i wouldnt trade my life for hers anyday. i have learned too many lessons u cant put a price tag on. what would she do if you were out of a job for a year and she didnt work. tell her to live thru that like i did. depending on God for every dollar. did it. still do, always will. no matter how rich i get in this life. no matter what it looks like here, God is my father, i want for nothing.
You married a woman just like dear old mom. You are in trouble my friend. Cancel the credit cards and sell the unwanted clothes/items to try and get some of your money back. I am a cheapskate and could easily afford the nicer things but I go to consignment shops and thrift stores. I don't want to file bankruptcy or have nothing to show for it. Your only woman role model is your mom who loves to shop. Not all women are like this. You need to get a financial advisor involved and if she is threatening to divorce you over your control over the finances then get an attorney, too.
I think getting separate finances would be a start....get rid of any joint credit cards and have her sign up for the ones she uses and be responsible for paying them. Having her take ownership from the time she swipes that card to the minute she signs a check to pay the bill might help open her eyes. You don't want her tarnishing your credit, neither do you want to be responsible for any of her debt.


Usually, retail therapy stems from some sort of dissatisfaction. Do you know if she is sad/depressed about something? Maybe she is hiding behind all those nice clothes. Try to approach it from a mental perspective.
Well, what do her co-workers at her medical or law practice say about her speding ';habits';? I mean, she IS a lawyer or a doctor, isn't she? Now, provided that she WORKS FULL TIME at a HIGH PAYING JOB that affords such a monthly spending budget, then you shouldn't complain, because she's spending HER money, right?





Now, why do I get the feeling that she doesn't have a job, that she's a J.A.P py ';stay at home mom'; who thinks it perfectly fine to SPEND money but feels ';entitled'; not to have to work to EARN IT?





If she works full time, put together a budget and tell her she needs to stick to it. If she doesn't work, tell her to knock off the silent treatment and get up off her lazy *** and get a job, or she can go back to having her Daddy support her.





';Never have too much stuff';? Yep, sounds like a J.A.P. to me. You've got a real problem on your hands, son. What does YOUR family say about all this?
keep your money seperate from hers for awhile so that she can only spend her money and her half of the bills........................This is going to be a issues with you guys you know that right!


Did you not see this when you married? This is a problem really! Let her be mad you need to lay your foot down and if she don't like it oh well she will have to deal with it or i don't think you will be around that much longer! Hopefully she loves you enoough to understand what you are saying...And no women don't need to go out shopping all the time And Buy 70.00 Bathing suits for a child Im with you about walmart! Kids grow to quickly